i.

[organa]

It's been a long time since Leia's been this inconsolable. Things don't usually get to her – not visibly, anyway – but she's rattled to the core when she bursts into the Twilight's cockpit with a dramatic sort of flare that she can't help in this moment. She managed to keep her emotions steady and under control on the way over here, but the dam that was holding them back has now burst. Leia's furious, and wounds that were never fully on the mend feel like they've been ripped open all over again.

Most of all, she's hurt. Anakin's words stung, and she's mortified he would even imply such a thing.

Comments

[velocities]

He's working when she comes in, bent over the Twilight's console working on figures and communication channel codes. It's not too different from what his work was with the Rebellion before Bespin, though there are a million little things to remind him of their predicament.

Not the least of which is the dull, constant anxiety with the runs because Han never knows what he's going to come back to.

It takes a second for him to look up when Leia comes in, a couple more taps on a datapad, and his face falls along with his stomach when he sees the state she's in.

"What happened?"

[organa]

Leia almost doesn't say anything, and for a fraction of a second, completely loses her nerve (so unlike her), wishing his head would remain bowed and she would go unnoticed. Resolve returns the moment his eyes lock on her, and it's all she can do from keep the floodgates from bursting wide open as she presses the back of her hand to her mouth and shakes her head so sharply, one of her braids tumbles free of its loop.

[velocities]

There aren't really a lot of options for the reason behind her being like this. Leia doesn't get like this over much, but family remains the main issue. So, either Luke or Anakin, and in the blur of activity and only just being back he isn't sure which one of them is here to have been the one to do it.

Han stands and crosses the short distance to the space by her side, stopping just short of touching her and opting instead to push the loose braid back behind her shoulder and bite back something completely uncalled for about how she needs to say something because he can't read her mind.

"C'mon," and he manages his arm around her shoulder so he can steer her to their cabin.

[organa]

Luke was offworld at the moment, incapable of offending or comforting her. Not to add insult to the injury she knew Han already felt (his jealousy towards Luke had simmered, but also shifted towards being envious of their bond and the unspoken things that passed effortlessly between them), but were her brother on Coruscant, she would have ran to him first. It was a family matter, after all, though she was at a loss for what Luke would say.

Their experiences, after all, were vastly different. Leia had a father, whereas Luke grew up with an uncle and (false) tales of a dad who died before he was born.

She could feel him, distantly, questioning her emotional turbulence. All she could bring herself to do as she allowed Han to guide her was assure him that she'd be fine, and Han was with her. That seemed to satisfy him.

"It's nothing," she lies, and the words are almost automatic, flying out of her mouth like controls locked in autopilot.

[velocities]

"Pretty big nothing," he quips dryly as he stops just inside the cabin and turns her to face him.

Jealous of the bond he may be, but he's no stranger to knowing there are some things he just can't do. He'll bristle at it, and it'll sting like nine hells every time it rears up to remind him of itself, but he's not a stranger to the idea of accepting it for what it is, either. Besides that Han is confident that he knows Leia pretty kriffing well, mystical whatsits bond or no.

Well enough to not buy some throwaway line about how it's nothing when she's upset enough to let her hair come undone without fussing over it.

[organa]

Her hair is partly responsible for this mess, and there's a juvenile urge to chop it all off in response stewing in what's left of her anger. That anger, however, is slowly giving way to hurt. She's no longer as skilled at holding on to her anger and hardening herself with it as she used to be. Luke found the chink in her armor and it's been in disrepair since.

"You don't know how hard it is, knowing that he's here. Having seen him, but be able to talk to him." It's not Luke or Anakin that she's talking about in this instance, but at least she's talking. "That alone is killing me, and then he goes and insinuates that all he wanted was for me to be some sort of royal dress-up doll!"

[velocities]

He softens when he realizes this is about Bail. It is one of those things he knows to never touch, one of the subjects that is sacred as the broken asteroid graveyard of Alderaan. That Anakin of all people stepped all over it makes this that much worse an infraction.

Of all the things he knew Anakin could be, the things he might become, 'thoughtless idiot' obviously hadn't been high enough on the list in terms of concern.

"How far'd he get his foot in before you let him have it?"

[organa]

Leia scoffs, frustrated with herself. (Frustrated and mad at Luke for having wedged open the door to her feeling something other than anger.)

"That's just it, Han. I barely let him have it. Me. I had only just begun to rip into him when suddenly, all I could do was stand there and cry."

And now she's crying again. Whether it's in shame or continued upset, she doesn't know.

[velocities]

He's never sure exactly what to do in situations like this, so he falls back onto an old standard. Without a word, he pulls her against his chest, one arm around her shoulders and the other on her elbow.

[organa]

The old standard works well enough, and Leia folds herself in against his chest and allows the tears that she's been fighting back since she stormed out of the Temple and away from her father to flow freely. As much as she hates crying, as much as she hates showing this kind of 'weakness,' there's no denying that once she starts to cry, she begins to feel a bit better. Like letting some of those flood waters spill has alleviated some of the pressure on her internal dam.

She remains in place when the tears subside long enough for her to mutter, "He shouldn't have said that."

[velocities]

Slowly, he moves his hand up and down the length of her back as she cries. It's awkward, and he's never sure if he's helping, but when he hears her speak again he just nods.

"No, he shouldn't have," he agrees, chin fitted against the top of her head. "But you've gotta figure he knows that now."

[organa]

Leia can only imagine how awkward this is for him. It's not like her to get upset like this, but Luke's right; she has to start letting go of her anger before it eats at her to the point she's rotting from the inside out. Giving her emotions a release that isn't bottling, yelling, or wailing on something is a start, even if it makes her feel like a stranger in her own shoes.

"Does he?" Careful not to knock her head against his chin, Leia lifts her head and tilts it back to look up at him. "He's my father, Han. They both are, even if the one that exists in this timeline doesn't know it. He still helped to make me who I am. Learning the ways of the Jedi, getting to know my biological parents... It doesn't mean I'm no longer from Alderaan. I may not be its princess anymore, but it's still my home."

It's the Aegis, Metara, and those pirates all over again. Leia's scrambling and trying trying to hold tight and fast to Alderaan's remnants. Only this time, it's the part the remain within herself.

[velocities]

Awkward he can deal with. It's vastly preferrable to the alternative where Leia doesn't heal from all this. So he'll take this, and the talk of fathers, in as much stride as he can manage.

Han leans back so he can look down, arms still loose around her. "If he hasn't figured that out after this then I'll go set him straight."

It occurs to him, vaguely and without any real urgency, that Anakin is probably jealous. Not that he'd have any right to be, in Han's opinion, but it at least gives a reason for him insulting Bail like that that's a little more understandable.

for the talking-tos with anakin

[velocities]

It hasn't quite been a full day since Leia came to him upset over Certain Things That Were Said when Han starts making his way out into the Temple to look for Anakin. Not angry, really. It's hard to be angry after getting tangled in Leia's hair, but there's still the definite sense that he should say something.

That he should make things clear. Help by doing something other than what he's always done anyway, and while telling other people what not to say isn't really a game he knows how to play, Han is willing to give it a shot if it'll keep tensions down.

dun dun dUN

[morally_cryptic]

For once, Anakin hadn't gone skulking off to Padme in response to upsetting one of the kids again. Mostly because he knew, he knew exactly what she'd say to him and he didn't really want to hear it.

But that does mean he's actually in the Temple when Han goes looking for him. Not that it's easy to find him, the Temple is a big place and Anakin is not in any of his usual haunts so he'll have to go looking around for him until finally an initiate hears him asking and tells him the 'Master Skywalker' was seen heading into the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

No one tell Obi-Wan that his wayward former apprentice went there seeking some equanimity, okay?

Still, that's where Anakin can be found, laying on the ground in a semi-secluded nook, staring up at leaves overhead. He'd tried meditating, but it hadn't worked so he settled for thinking while lying still.

[velocities]

Logically, it makes sense to have the Temple be so large. There are, after all, a lot of Jedi in this time. A lot of things they need to do that they apparently can't do anywhere else on Coruscant. Still incredibly annoying when Han winds up wandering around for a little over an hour before finally getting pointed in the right direction.

What kind of name is 'Room of a Thousand Fountains' anyway? Sounds like the title of a bad holonovel.

And this is what he finds. It's hard to believe (and maybe he really should stop making these kinds of comparisons, no matter how automatically his mind seems to supply them) that the man laying and staring at leaves is the same one that ends up behind a mask menacing anyone. Right now he looks like all he's menacing is whoever's job it is to cut the grass here.

Han approaches slowly anyway, stopping off to the side to cross his arms. "Practicing your Jedi napping skills?"

[morally_cryptic]

It's actually a pretty literal name and not as metaphorical as the Jedi sometimes get, though Anakin has never actually tried to count the number of fountains and waterfalls in there.

At Han's words, Anakin shifts a little to look up at him before rolling his eyes. Figures. Still, he pushes himself into a standing position readily enough, brushing off some wayward bits of grass as he does so. "You'd be amazed at how handy those skills can be. Out for a stroll?"

[velocities]

"Looking for you, actually." Casually not mentioning how long it took him to get here, though. He doesn't want his navigational skills being insulted at the moment. "I wanted to talk to you about Leia."

It is very obvious, though, what that means, if not solely from the context of the last day or so then from how Han shifts a little uneasily from one foot to the other.

[morally_cryptic]

Of course he wants to talk about Leia. "And what, precisely, do you want to tell me?"

Hey, he did find a little of that balance he was looking for out here but that didn't mean he was going to make it easy for Han.

[velocities]

Who needs easy when you're displaced in time and surrounded by fountains?

"Hey," he says with a sweeping gesture at himself, "I'm trying to help you out here. I figured maybe you didn't want to set her off again, but if that isn't the case..."

There's another sweeping gesture before he stops and shakes his head. Maybe all these Jedi fountains were having an effect on him, and when he continues his tone is a lot less abrasive. "I'm not looking for a fight."

[morally_cryptic]

"You're not looking for a fight," he says, "but you came here to tell me I was wrong, anyway. Don't you think I know that?"

Well, he knows he went about expressing what he was trying to tell Leia all wrong. Or maybe it wasn't something he should've been telling her at all. But either way, he doesn't plan on involving himself in any discussions related to Alderaan in general or Bail Organa specifically in the future.

That may or may not be the lesson he should have learned.

[velocities]

This is certainly off to a great start, like most of his conversations with Anakin. Han sighs and fights the urge to roll his eyes or make a face, because he's doing this For Leia, and maybe if they're going to stop acting like riled banthas tromping through a market he ought to go first.

"No, I told her you probably did. Still think it'd help if you knew why you were wrong, though."

And really, if Anakin wants a master class in arguing with Leia without her hating you after, Han is the resident expert.

[morally_cryptic]

Back off, Anakin, he can almost hear Obi-Wan telling him. He just wants to help.

Sighing, Anakin does indeed take a step back, moving to sit down on the alcove's actual bench and waving for Han to join him should he feel so inclined.

"Enlighten me."

[velocities]

He sits, still tense but for other reasons. Helping Leia is all well and good, but talking about her like this does feel a little like sharing secrets he shouldn't, even if it does make things better.

Not like it would be the first time she'd be mad at him. He could handle it.

"You know, you've got the Force and whatever that does between you. Which is," and he almost has to force the next word out, "great. But you don't end up the Last Princess of anything without it leaving a mark. A lot of marks."

[morally_cryptic]

He raises an eyebrow at the great, the corner of his lips twitching in suppressed humor.

"I wouldn't know, I've never been the Last Princess of anything," okay, maybe the humor wasn't so suppressed after all. "But I understand what you mean, I do. Loss is...hard. It stays with you. I've never lost a planet," and he wouldn't shed too many tears over Tatooine, "but I've lost enough to know that."